I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
