**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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