i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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