i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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