So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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