VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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