i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
