ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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