Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry about my life...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
