I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
