it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
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My vagina is officially offended.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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