hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
