At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize