i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
