Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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(347): A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me! http://tfl.nu/ye87

Replies (16) Good night (1071) Bad night (1314)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/

(973): View more from New Jersey

Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.

(859): View more from Kentucky

Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?

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(859): I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/ (973): Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room. (859): Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan? http://tfl.nu/hrwu

Replies (15) Good night (959) Bad night (1328)
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(407): View more from Florida

He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

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(407): He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat. http://tfl.nu/lz98

Replies (12) Good night (3718) Bad night (973)
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(317): View more from Indiana

honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.

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(317): honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill. http://tfl.nu/orse

Replies (10) Good night (3880) Bad night (703)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

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(317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o

Replies (66) Good night (13309) Bad night (847)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.

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(620): Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old. http://tfl.nu/papu

Replies (8) Good night (7386) Bad night (1733)
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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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(407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy

Replies (18) Good night (9687) Bad night (1250)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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(814): so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar? http://tfl.nu/t8an

Replies (16) Good night (1528) Bad night (5323)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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(724): He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl? http://tfl.nu/b3zj

Replies (12) Good night (878) Bad night (1993)
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(207): View more from Maine

he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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(207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa

Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (1480)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.

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(443): Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame. http://tfl.nu/nf1o

Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (831)
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(928): View more from Arizona

YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

(1-928): View more from Arizona

...and?

(928): View more from Arizona

I hate when you're right.

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(928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8

Replies (10) Good night (1034) Bad night (492)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.

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(802): Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/nv64

Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (342)
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(713): View more from Texas

Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.

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(713): Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having. http://tfl.nu/8yzd

Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (691)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"

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(630): Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/11ab

Replies (39) Good night (418) Bad night (1228)

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