lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
