i'm signing you up for texting rehab
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend