Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  why didn't you poke me back

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  (248): why didn't you poke me back http://tfl.nu/aomd
  Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (1950)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.

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  (323): that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill. http://tfl.nu/xwdt
  Replies (3) Good night (1347) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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  (508): my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter. http://tfl.nu/lkrq
  Replies (14) Good night (673) Bad night (3323)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

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  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4978) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor

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  (315): i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor http://tfl.nu/o59i
  Replies (25) Good night (4207) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven

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  (707): They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven http://tfl.nu/tpek
  Replies (10) Good night (2122) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think

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  (570): Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think http://tfl.nu/mpe0
  Replies (7) Good night (544) Bad night (1612)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Looks like I won that one

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  (952): You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor. (651): Looks like I won that one http://tfl.nu/usxg
  Replies (10) Good night (2240) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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  (845): The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction. http://tfl.nu/75bn
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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  (612): He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this. http://tfl.nu/vp0n
  Replies (10) Good night (3066) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.

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  (305): Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized. http://tfl.nu/vgu8
  Replies (7) Good night (654) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

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  (208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"

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  (206): you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus" http://tfl.nu/hgga
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.

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  (512): I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis. http://tfl.nu/cttq
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (247)

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