sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.