Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret

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  (310): i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret http://tfl.nu/lkw1
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (1630)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent

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  (281): I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent http://tfl.nu/311d
  Replies (37) Good night (3326) Bad night (1176)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions

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  (603): you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions http://tfl.nu/l7zn
  Replies (43) Good night (6347) Bad night (1382)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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  (704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66
  Replies (40) Good night (1400) Bad night (6125)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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  (215): i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it http://tfl.nu/rarj
  Replies (14) Good night (7221) Bad night (796)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low

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  (615): He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low http://tfl.nu/d44y
  Replies (14) Good night (1229) Bad night (5894)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

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  (917): was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him? http://tfl.nu/um4o
  Replies (30) Good night (3254) Bad night (5113)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
  Replies (5) Good night (4288) Bad night (1260)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags

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  (610): I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags http://tfl.nu/4wxr
  Replies (6) Good night (1111) Bad night (1802)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out

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  (480): He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out http://tfl.nu/x67i
  Replies (2) Good night (2018) Bad night (792)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts

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  (512): Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts http://tfl.nu/16ua
  Replies (9) Good night (479) Bad night (1018)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night

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  (501): Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night http://tfl.nu/fi5n
  Replies (6) Good night (374) Bad night (812)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.

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  (612): I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises. http://tfl.nu/ns4w
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (383)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally

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  (727): Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally http://tfl.nu/f29a
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.

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  (306): My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend. http://tfl.nu/uyz5
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (140)

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