she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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