Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
