Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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