I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
