dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
