I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize