Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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