she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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