happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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