Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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