I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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