So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize