Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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