i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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