I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
