they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
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