He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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