I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
