THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
