I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it because I queefed?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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