All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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