Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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