Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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