I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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