Will you blow on my dice?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
