Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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