I wanna bring you to show and tell
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
