and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
