the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
