ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
