What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
