also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
