Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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