He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
