she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
