WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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