note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
