The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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