Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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