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• (323): View more from California

  don't go home with that guy from jersey

  (626): View more from California

  i know, not worth the blood test

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

  Fav 50 4798 942

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

  Fav 5 891 4925

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

  Fav 64 17732 2057

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (805): View more from California

  Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Everything hurts.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Lets trade lives

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.

  (425): View more from Washington

  .... touche....

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

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