Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping. http://tfl.nu/k03m
  Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (7166)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers http://tfl.nu/1ki8
  Replies (29) Good night (761) Bad night (10155)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh. He liked you.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x
  Replies (22) Good night (1189) Bad night (3329)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (2925) Bad night (1892)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up. http://tfl.nu/2xcc
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. http://tfl.nu/p7wi
  Replies (5) Good night (2003) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends. http://tfl.nu/r3vo
  Replies (3) Good night (1604) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling? http://tfl.nu/57n3
  Replies (9) Good night (476) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis". http://tfl.nu/tct7
  Replies (7) Good night (1576) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex... http://tfl.nu/th3v
  Replies (7) Good night (1515) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code. http://tfl.nu/zcfb
  Replies (7) Good night (1538) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me. http://tfl.nu/d1xs
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (235)

Randomize