Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
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