Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  So, how was the dinner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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  (406): So, how was the dinner (1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive. http://tfl.nu/9pb0
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (1339)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I CAN MOONWALK!

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  (203): I CAN MOONWALK! http://tfl.nu/d76i
  Replies (5) Good night (2062) Bad night (607)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.

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  (240): EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff. http://tfl.nu/5eqp
  Replies (21) Good night (3328) Bad night (1033)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"

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  (914): i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!" http://tfl.nu/2ify
  Replies (16) Good night (7281) Bad night (886)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer

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  (813): The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer http://tfl.nu/rmdc
  Replies (19) Good night (3851) Bad night (919)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

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  (814): Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects? http://tfl.nu/389h
  Replies (35) Good night (2394) Bad night (912)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?

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  (516): Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/2qmc
  Replies (6) Good night (2113) Bad night (1021)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?

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  (317): why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator? http://tfl.nu/5m0o
  Replies (10) Good night (3010) Bad night (1049)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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  (541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42
  Replies (11) Good night (761) Bad night (1163)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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  (317): No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila". http://tfl.nu/tmys
  Replies (6) Good night (1520) Bad night (503)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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  (207): I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table. http://tfl.nu/sbpv
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (1158)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat

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  (214): Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat http://tfl.nu/vn00
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (418)
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  (909): View more from California

  I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing

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  (909): I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing http://tfl.nu/z65e
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (680)
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  (619): View more from California

  I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.

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  (619): I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain. http://tfl.nu/lmb6
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye

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  (812): Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye http://tfl.nu/1c9h
  Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (414)

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