Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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  (847): How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women? http://tfl.nu/e8g0
  Replies (92) Good night (1643) Bad night (4011)
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  (925): View more from California

  We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

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  (925): We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation? http://tfl.nu/efhg
  Replies (37) Good night (2923) Bad night (2704)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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  (479): He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/ga3r
  Replies (7) Good night (4173) Bad night (1206)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.

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  (251): You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded. http://tfl.nu/84co
  Replies (10) Good night (4154) Bad night (1738)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.

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  (719): He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year. http://tfl.nu/71up
  Replies (17) Good night (4621) Bad night (1133)
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  (209): View more from California

  Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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  (209): Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir. http://tfl.nu/1rs6
  Replies (21) Good night (1832) Bad night (1245)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.

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  (734): The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use. http://tfl.nu/kozs
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (659)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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  (207): Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck. http://tfl.nu/rwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (1069)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.

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  (561): We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave. http://tfl.nu/7zum
  Replies (9) Good night (1675) Bad night (615)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.

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  (732): Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock. http://tfl.nu/432f
  Replies (10) Good night (1546) Bad night (622)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys

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  (817): Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys http://tfl.nu/cvux
  Replies (1) Good night (1198) Bad night (570)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.

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  (202): Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today. (240): Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality. http://tfl.nu/yhrj
  Replies (2) Good night (1068) Bad night (394)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (460)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.

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  (+61): Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome. http://tfl.nu/0ajk
  Replies (5) Good night (1425) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?

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  (217): Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth? http://tfl.nu/2a59
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (150)

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