the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
