I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
