I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
