fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
