he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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