Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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