go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
