You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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