Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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